In this episode, Cara sits down with Aerin Glaser, a vibrant, creative young woman who is currently battling alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma, a type of cancer commonly found in the limbs. Candidly sharing her journey, Aerin discusses the challenges of undergoing chemotherapy, grappling with the intricacies of medication management, and exploring alternative treatments. Together, Aerin and Cara discuss the profound positive impact of home health care on cancer patients and sheds light on the detrimental effects of hospital environments on patients' mental well-being. Aerin provides an update on her current treatment progress and reflects on her resilient mindset as she navigates her path forward.
Aerin Glaser was in the midst of graduating from eighth grade and was excited about starting her high school journey when she discovered that the lump in her foot was not actually benign as previously thought. At 14 years old, her life took a dramatic turn as she was suddenly faced with a cancer diagnosis. For the past four years, Aerin has gone through chemotherapy trials, radiation, surgery, and experimental treatments. Despite it all, she has continued to plan for her future. She has been accepted into USC in the fall of 2023 and will be traveling to Paris for summer internship as a fashion designer.
Key Takeaways
- [03:00] Introduction to today’s topic and guest.
- [04:51] Aerin’s diagnosis and how she and her family processed the news.
- [11:30] The positive impact that home health care had on Aerin’s treatment process.
- [23:18] The evolution of Aerin’s treatment and how she weighs quality of life against treatment impact.
- [38:00] Aerin’s outlook for the future and how she views her diagnosis now.
- [41:50] Final thoughts and goodbyes.
Episode Transcript
This transcript was generated automatically. Its accuracy may vary.
Cara Lunsford
Oh, hey, nurses. Welcome to the Nurse podcast, Giving nurses validation resources and hope. One episode at a time. Oh, today on Nurse Dot podcast.
Aerin Glaser
At a certain point, after you hear that your cancer has progressed so many times, you kind of just get used to, okay, what's next? I'm going to move forward and find the next best option for me. I'm planning on doing all of the things I want to do. I plan for the future, but I'm planning on my success.
Cara Lunsford
Joining us today, Aerin Glaser.
Erin, currently 18 years old.
Has been battling cancer.
Since the age of 14 and in this episode.
She takes us through her cancer journey, explains how she chooses optimism.
In the face of uncertainty.
And what kind of future she's building for herself.
I'm your host, Kara Lunsford.
Registered nurse and VP of community at Nurse Icon. Oh, well, hello, my dear Erin Glaser. How are.
Aerin Glaser
You? And and how are you?
Cara Lunsford
That beautiful hair, isn't it.
Aerin Glaser
Getting so long?
Cara Lunsford
It is getting so long. It's getting like and it even has like what looks like a little bit of like a 1920s and thirties, like finger wave looking thing that it's got go in there.
Aerin Glaser
Yeah. I don't know what it's doing but it looks good. I'm actually having a good hair day today.
Cara Lunsford
Well that's saying a lot considering there was a while where you had none.
Aerin Glaser
Yeah. I've had days where I've had no hair.
Cara Lunsford
Yeah. I mean, so this is, this is like what it means to be grateful. This is gratitude for the little things in life. Like hair. Yeah. Oh, I'm excited to talk to you. Okay.
Aerin Glaser
I'm a little shocked you didn't ask me sooner.
Cara Lunsford
Oh. Oh, God.
Aerin Glaser
I figure.
Oh, man.
I love you.
Cara Lunsford
I love you. Okay, peanut. As I like to call you, I call you a lot of things. Peanuts. One of them.
Aerin Glaser
Barney, is another one.
Cara Lunsford
Barney is another one. And we will get into why I called you Barney. But that's for later in this episode. All right, dear. So please tell the incredible listeners on this podcast who you are, how old you are. Because when you're this age, you can actually say your age. I can never say that to any other guest. I can't say like, Tell me how old you are, but you are young so you can say it and and just tell it.
Tell us a little bit about what happened. Oh, my God. How many years has it been? Now? I might have lost track of time for.
Aerin Glaser
It was four years on June 7th.
Cara Lunsford
Four years. I should have done this on June seven. See, that would have been.
Aerin Glaser
Yeah, Although I forgot about my own cancer. Sorry.
Cara Lunsford
You did?
Aerin Glaser
Yeah, I forgot about it. I was like it was June 11th, and I was like, Wait, isn't it my cancer adversary today? And then I looked back, I went on my iPhone calendar and I scrolled back four years to 2019 and I was like, Oh, shoot. It was actually June seven. I forgot about.
Cara Lunsford
Well, then I don't feel so bad for not having remembered the cancer bursary. So four years ago, June 7th, Tell us what happened.
Aerin Glaser
I was diagnosed with intermediate stage alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma. It was my last day of eighth grade. I met my oncologist over the phone and about three days later I was admitted for my biopsies and bone marrow biopsy, a biopsy of one of my tumors and a port placement. And then a day after that, I started my first chemo.
Cara Lunsford
Isn't it crazy? Like how how much we throw at people, like, all at once, right?
Aerin Glaser
Yeah, It was very quick.
Cara Lunsford
Yeah. So you had this lump and it was on your foot?
Aerin Glaser
Yes, I had a lump in my foot that showed up in February of 2019 and I had had a piece of glass removed from my foot around the same time. And I thought that this lump was something that had to do with the piece of glass being removed. So I went back to the podiatrist and he did an ultrasound of it and was like, It's a fibromyalgia.
Just do some stretches and I'll go away. And then I forgot about it because what's a teenager going to do about a lump in their foot? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. So I forgot about it and it didn't grow in size, nothing. It was not suspicious whatsoever. Then around the last week of May, a lump here in my inner thigh on the right.
And I was like, this is this is suspicious, this is strange. And there was a huge bruise that went down the entire inner side of my leg about this big. And it was very unusual. And I thought maybe I had hit my leg on something and I didn't remember ever doing that.
Cara Lunsford
So like getting too aggressive with the ThighMaster kind of thing, like.
Aerin Glaser
Or like I was riding my bike and I thought maybe I had hit my leg on the seat when getting off or something. And I was like, Maybe I just like, hit my leg, I don't know. But there was also the lump with it. So I was like, This is weird. So I told my mom, who's a doctor, and she was like, This is weird.
So we went to the doctor and this was also the last week of eighth grade. So I had finals. So I would take a final. On Monday of that week, I took a final I went to the doctor's office. They were like, Let's get an MRI. So I got an MRI. It was inconclusive on what it was because they couldn't really tell that it was just a lump, but they couldn't tell what it was.
So then the next day took my next final, went to a different doctor. They were like, Yeah, this is inconclusive. We're going to need a biopsy. So then Wednesday, it took final when I got my biopsy and then Thursday I didn't have a final. I was done and then I was just healing at home. And then Friday was the last day of school.
So I was supposed to be at school, but I couldn't go because they messed up my biopsy. And so I had to go to.
Where.
I had to go to the E.R., like Wednesday night after they did the biopsy. And they put they put a stitch in it because I bled through all of my bandages. So I had to go to the E.R. They put a stitch in it, and then Thursday, I was healing. Friday we get a phone call and it's cancer.
And then the following Monday, I was admitted.
Cara Lunsford
What was that moment like for you? Do you remember specifically, like the thoughts that went through your head or was it a little like numb or what would you say?
Aerin Glaser
I was very shocked and I didn't really know how to process that. I very distinctly remember myself being on the couch in my living room watching TV, and then my parents were in my dad's office and another room on the other side of our house, and they get this phone call from the doctor and they come into the living room.
I turn off the TV, they're sitting my dad's kind of like at my feet and my mom's sitting next to me and the doctor tells us that it's cancer. And I just remember like falling. And my dad was crying. My mom was sitting there with her notebook, taking notes on what our next steps were.
Cara Lunsford
And that's very. Your mom, by the way. Yeah. Your mom is amazing, incredible human being, wonderful person. I love her. She is like, that's her coping like she's like, I'm going to know exactly what to do.
Aerin Glaser
Yeah. She didn't cry when I was diagnosed. And she's our glue. She's our glue. Yes. I just remember sitting there, my dad crying and me crying, my mom taking notes and us figuring out what our next steps were and that's kind of all that I remember.
Cara Lunsford
Yeah. I mean, it's it's one of those moments where when it's that I think when there's trauma, it's like we can actually remember something. So even the smells in the room or the way the light was coming in through a window or something like that, I know that like when I look back on, like really traumatic times in my life, like, I don't know if I think I told you this when I was about nine, my grandmother was babysitting my sister and I, and she died of an aneurysm while she was babysat.
I watched her go down and it was like the weirdest it was like time kind of slowed down in a weird way. I can remember everything she said. I can remember what time of day it was, what I was watching on TV. Like everything is kind of seared into my memory of a very, very small piece of time, Right?
Aerin Glaser
Yeah. I remember like, I was lying there. I was wearing like a pair of black Lululemon workout shorts and like, a big oversize t shirt, like one of my pajama shirt. And I know what pillow I had my legs propped up on, what blankets I had. And like the sensation of just sitting there and feeling kind of helpless, but also very confused and shocked.
But I don't I don't remember what I was watching. I just know I pause on the TV and then the next thing I know, I'm crying. So, yeah, I don't remember much. Just that.
Cara Lunsford
Yeah. But interestingly that like, we just don't. I mean, when can you ever remember what you were wearing on a day four years ago, right. Like that. That's, that's so rare. Right. That you can remember something, but that's trauma for you, right? Like that is classic trauma that you can remember, like strange details of a day. So at that point, you jump into gear, right?
Like, there's so many things to be done. You start chemo right away. And I was part of the early days of that with you when you first came home from the hospital.
Aerin Glaser
Yeah.
Cara Lunsford
You had a nurse that evening. But then I was there the next day. And so anyway, I was there a lot in the beginning.
Aerin Glaser
You were.
Cara Lunsford
Pretty much moved in.
Aerin Glaser
Like.
You saved us. Like we had no idea what we were doing. They just sent us home with, like, a huge box of medications, and we're like, There you go. We'll see you next week. We had no idea what we were doing.
Cara Lunsford
I know. And having been a nurse that was in the hospital working with pediatric oncology patients for the first seven, eight years of my career, realizing later what it was like for people coming home.
Aerin Glaser
Yeah.
Cara Lunsford
I realized what a disservice I had done while I was in the hospital. Just, you know, because you don't know what you don't know, Right? And once I started taking care of people in their home, I think it made me a better hospital nurse because I started to see things in a more holistic way. Yeah, but with you, I mean, you're.
You've always been a very precocious, very intelligent, wise beyond your years. Woman You know, at the time you were a young lady. Now you're this beautiful young woman getting ready to go off to college.
Aerin Glaser
Yeah, You see.
Cara Lunsford
She's old, never. Sweatshirt Okay, so you're getting into that process, and I will just say, you were always so, so strong. I mean, really, really strong. And and I will say that of a lot of, like, pediatric oncology patients, I don't know what it is about pediatric oncology, but I just always feel like the people who can handle it somehow get dealt it because like, I just find that there's like this certain type of person that just I don't know what it is.
I haven't figured that out yet in my career. But you, you weathered so much, but with humor and you're a super funny person and dry and sarcastic and all of those things, but all the things that I just absolutely love and adore about you. So But you had a really hard time with the first run of chemo.
Aerin Glaser
Yeah, I did.
Cara Lunsford
All right. Tell us a little bit about it.
Aerin Glaser
I don't remember a single thing about my first week. Nothing they gave me so much out of. They didn't know my it my dose. So they gave me like four times as much as I was supposed to. I was so loopy and out of it. I don't remember a single thing. I just honestly, I don't know when in time I have certain memories because I will have like little glimpses of things, but I don't know exactly when they were.
I remember being home. Maybe it was like one of the first nights out of the hospital and within the first few weeks of treatment and I remember having a night shift nurse. And I remember within the first 10 minutes of her being at my house, I was like, I think I'm going to throw up. And I threw up in my kitchen sink because I couldn't make it to the bathroom.
I was like, I'm so tired and I'm so out of it, but I'm sitting on the couch downstairs in the living room and I'm like, I don't feel well. And I was like, one of the first things I remember I would sleep through the night, but I just was so out of it.
Cara Lunsford
And we had you on a lot of stuff, too. I mean, you were on so much stuff. I mean, first of all, for people who don't know, Ativan is something that we actually do use for nausea and vomiting. It can be really helpful for nausea and vomiting. But also, like I wonder sometimes if it causes a bit of amnesia.
Aerin Glaser
Because.
It's a mistake. So I just like, I'll get it and I'll feel great because it also helps with anxiety. And within the first few weeks of treatment, like I was feeling things I had never felt before. So much nausea, pain from all of these different procedures and things that I never thought I would have to experience. And coming home after being like, so well taken care of in the hospital, it was so overwhelming with the different medications and finding out what works for me.
And it felt like one big experiment. It was kind of like shocking and it kind of just hits you all at once. And my mom will say this too, but it was like coming home with that big box of medications that I'll need and not really knowing how to use them. And like the oral medication pins don't always help.
It just doesn't work the same as I.V. medications. And so having those nurses coming to our house and helping us out was so monumental.
Cara Lunsford
Yeah, I think that we forget sometimes. And you guys were in a situation where you were able to hire like in-home nursing. And it's something that not everybody can have. It's not everybody can afford it. It's really unfortunate that it's not something that is more available to the general population. And one of the things that I think that we're able to do and to what you were just saying is that we're able to give these IV medications, these I am medication, the things that like it's the last thing you want to take is something orally, and it's why people end up staying in the hospital longer because they can't even fathom the idea of going
home and taking something by mouth. And oftentimes they so badly want to get home, it's better for them to be home. You know, you have less risk of infection and getting exposed to something when you're neutropenic if you can go home. But oftentimes you just don't have a lot of people just don't have the resources to be able to have someone there who can give I.V. medication.
And I think we need to change that in America. I mean, like, this just needs to be like, ubiquitous, Like it needs to be something that is like, accessible to everybody because I have been able to personally see the difference and the quality of care that is provided and the recovery that people can experience when they have access to that kind of care.
And it really should not be based on the ability to afford it or to like financially. But I'm so glad that you did have this because it was so we could all see how much you would improve. And I think for nurses, like we just want to feel like we're part of the solution and not part of a problem.
Yeah, and I think like with you, one of the things that I felt is that like when I was with you, I felt like I could do something, like I could give you something that could potentially help and keep you out of the hospital because you didn't want to go to the hospital. Who wants to go?
Aerin Glaser
No. Like I remember my first few months, all I wanted to do was feel like safe. And for me that was like associated with being in the hospital because we had all the access to I.V. medications. And then I got see in my first few months of treatment and I was like, I want out. Send me home. Like, I do not want to be here anymore.
And my thinking changed. I just didn't want to be there anymore. And every time I would get a neutropenic fever because my counts are so low, I would be like, No, absolutely not. I don't want to go. No, don't make me go. Every single time we could predict when I was going to get a fever because it was just so routine.
And so once we had, like, figured out when I was getting at a neutropenic fever, I was like, okay, it's time we got to go. But like, I really don't want to. It would be like I would get chemo on week one, day one, and then by week two of the cycle, they two or day one and week two, I would get a new treating fever and we would we would know.
It was always at the same time. Every single time I go, it ends up being nothing. So why do I have to go to the hospital, get broad spectrum antibiotics for nothing? It messes up my gut. I don't want to go. I just go crazy. My mental health declines so much when I'm there because I feel fine and I just I didn't want to be there anymore.
And now it makes me go crazy.
Cara Lunsford
I know. And every single nurse, including me, who since it's like we know the same thing, right? Like, we've done the routine. We know how many people come in with F and N, as we call it, fever and neutropenia, right? They come in with their phone and we do the lab, we do the cultures, we start the broad spectrum antibiotics, we do other things.
And then most of the time you go, okay, nothing grew out. We did that. We did the things. We made sure they were safe. We discharge them, right? But it only takes those few times to watch someone go septic and how fast it happens. And it's why they're like, Well, we could never have you waiting at home. Because in the time that you could go septic, we would have lost you by the time you got to the hospital.
That's why they're so anal about it. I mean, I do think that there is room for improve ment, though. Like, I think that as we get better at this and I do, I have faith that we're going to get better at this, that we're going to be able to utilize things in the home better, you know, that we're going to have access at home and that we're not going to have to immediately send somebody to the hospital that will have ways of testing for things and going, okay, do we need to start antibiotics or is this just like a bodily reaction to having neutropenia, which we we do believe that, like, you know, sometimes the
neutrophils dropping is enough for the body to kind of react in a way.
Aerin Glaser
I remember like a few times I would be in the hospital. And of course, like for me, I was lucky enough that I never had anything grow out of those cultures. But I remember being so neutropenic to the point where my body would react with a fever every single time, and the highest fever I ever got was like 104.
And I didn't have anything. But it was it was scary for me to be there, but I was feeling fine and I just had like fever and chills. But like my parents with me and they're freaking out because, like, no one wants to see their child in pain or suffering. So I just like a lot of bugging the doctors to be like, Are you sure she's fine?
Like, what's going on? And it was a lot of just hurry up and wait as we like to say. Yeah, get to the hospital. You don't want anything to be wrong, but then you're waiting there for hours for results and stuff like that.
Cara Lunsford
Yeah, that it is a ton of hurry up and wait. I think if anything, if you go through an experience where you're spending any amount of time in a hospital, I think the reason why they call you patients is.
Aerin Glaser
Because you have an incredible amount of patients.
Cara Lunsford
Like, I mean, like, I don't know, I feel like that must be the case because like, you go in and you get something and then you wait and then you get another small piece of information and then you wait. And it really does test your patients.
Aerin Glaser
Yeah, Yeah.
Cara Lunsford
So, I mean, I remember you having a really you had a really difficult time with Irinotecan. Now we kind of actually knew that you were probably going to have a difficult time with some of the medications because we. You had done some genetic profiling. Yeah, which was great because we were able to actually understand a little bit more about how you process medication, how you metabolize medication, whether or not it's going to hang out in your body or you're going to quickly metabolize it.
And that helps us to possibly give in the future if more people had this available to them and they were doing this kind of testing, we might be able to give more personalized chemotherapy treatments. Right now, they're a little one size fits all. You know, we do it by weight, but that's about it. That's about as personalized as it gets.
Aerin Glaser
Yeah, we did a bunch of genetic testing at the beginning when we collected biopsy tissue, which became very helpful, especially after I finished my first induction chemo and then did a year of maintenance. And we thought I was done after that and I was on maintenance for a year. The scans were looking really good and I went off of chemo completely and after six months I recurred and then I had to go back on chemo and the genetic testing was really helpful because we were able to see what back up chemo's would also be good for me.
Yeah, I was part of a clinical trial for a new drug, but I unfortunately failed out of that and my cancer progressed through that. So then I had to go back on more induction chemo, which was terrible, but it worked. And now I'm just kind of on another type of maintenance and it's a lot of puzzle pieces. It's a lot of scrabble, piecing together things, kind of just trying to figure out what could work, looking at the genetic testing and seeing what could also work and kind of seeing what this test was saying and also comparing like what I want my life to look like.
And it's a lot of, well, you could do this chemo, but you'll feel really bad and you could lose your hair again and we could try this chemo, but you might not tolerate it so well, but it could work. And then you could try this chemo and you can keep your hair and your quality of life will be similar to what it is now.
So it's a lot of like, what do I want my life to look like and how can we continue forward the best way possible for me and I think a lot of it is just piecing things together and deciding as a family and a group what we want.
Cara Lunsford
And that's a really nice segway. I think, into another question that I wanted to ask you, because you recently just became an adult.
Aerin Glaser
Yeah.
Cara Lunsford
You are now officially 18 years old and you like you said, you've been faced with a variety of different options that you can try some that might have more severe side effects, some that might maintain kind of the same quality of life that you have. Now. I've seen you kind of progressively choose quality of life, you know, as you've over the years, I've seen you just kind of move in that direction, which I think is beautiful.
I mean, I, I don't know personally, I feel like I'm always kind of a quality of life person as well, but also as a parent, you know, I can imagine that it's a struggle, right? That separation of you now have the ability to make your own decisions about what you want to do. And you were recently, you know, doing this clinical trial out of the country.
It's in a vaccine type of clinical trial. Tell us a little bit about like what that experience has been like. Of course, I've seen it and it's been kind of frightening.
Aerin Glaser
My family and I, we since the beginning, we've had a bunch of people looking for other types of treatment all over the world that aren't necessarily chemotherapy. And so what this company is doing is they take tissue from my biopsies, they'll collect the tissue, they'll profile it, and they'll test to see what DNA markers are in this particular tumor.
Cara Lunsford
Did they get the last one from your lung?
Aerin Glaser
Yeah.
Cara Lunsford
So when it when you when you reoccurred, they took the opportunity to get a piece of that.
Aerin Glaser
And they just received I don't know if they actually got it yet, but they we sent them the tissue. They just took about two weeks ago. So they profile the tumor and they see what genetic markers are on it and they make a vaccine that basically injects these markers and teaches my body how to basically kill them. And well, it's not approved in the United States.
So we've been traveling to Germany, which is where it's located about every 4 to 6 weeks to get these vaccines. And we didn't really know what to expect it when we got there. We did the we did like four or five, and each dose is four shots. Two of the actual vaccine and then two flu kind shots. And when we got there, they explained what they would be doing.
So they took preliminary blood tests and then administered the vaccines, which were into the first few layers of skin. And then the lucayan was underneath that. And then I didn't really know what to expect. I was just thinking like, Oh, it'll be like the flu shot. It was not. It was not. I said to my parents afterwards, I said to them I would rather go through induction chemo again than do these shots because it was easily the worst pain I had ever experienced in my entire life.
Wow. I'm very lucky that my parents have always listened to what my needs were and they've always considered what I want in my treatment. And I've always been an active participant in my treatment. But we continued to do these shots and we were actually seeing results. And at least just from the blood tests they were doing, we did a blood test to see because we had we had changed up the administration of the shots a little bit because I was getting really bad side effects and I was getting these really bad ulcers.
And part of it was because of the chemo I was on at the time, which causes slow healing.
Cara Lunsford
And these ulcers look just for people who were trying to understand, it looked like somebody had burned you with a cigaret, like literally like a quarter of an inch down into your skin. Like it literally looked like somebody had held a cigaret to your skin. But in like four places.
Aerin Glaser
Yeah, all like in a row on my thigh. And I was like, I don't want to look like I've had cigaret burns all over my legs. I don't want to be in this much pain for hours. I don't want to see over the next day, I don't want to do this. And once we had changed up the administration of the shot a little bit, it did help and it was better.
But it was still really painful. It felt like I was being burned as the liquid was being administered into my skin and it would leave these bubbles and it looks like a tuberculosis shot or like a really bad bee sting. And I was like, I don't want to do this. Like, this sucks. So once, once we had changed how it was administered, it was better.
And I went back to possibly get another shot, but also discuss results from a blood test they had done like two months earlier or something like that. And we were seeing results. But I was like, I don't want to do this. And so we did the blood test and we did an allergy test to see if I was allergic to any of the vaccine that they were administering.
And I wasn't allergic to anything. And as soon as I saw that I wasn't allergic to anything in the shot, I just start uncontrollably falling. I was like, because it meant that I could still get these shots. I was like praying for something to be wrong so I didn't have to do it anymore. So then everyone saw that I was crying, so they were like, There's no need to be emotional.
There's no need. Like, we'll figure it out. It'll be okay. I was like, You guys really don't have good bedside manner.
Cara Lunsford
Oh, man, come on. I think they've spent too much time in the lab. There's been a little too much time in a lab. You know, there's no reason to not. There's no reason to be upset. I'm like. I think there's plenty of reason for you to be upset.
Aerin Glaser
Yeah, They're like, there's no need to be emotional. Like, it'll be okay. We'll figure it out. And so I was, like, sitting there in the room. My mom's on the phone, my dad's with me. There's like, three other doctors in the room, and I'm like, This is embarrassing. And like, they don't understand what it's like because they're the ones making it.
They're not the ones getting it. And so I'm sitting there, the doctor, I step out of the room. So I've talked to my parents and I was like, Do not make me get a shot. I don't want to do this. And they were like, okay, so the doctors come back in and I get more blood tests and they were saying they we I don't think we've gotten the results back, but they were like, we'll just get a blood test this time and we'll see if your body is still mounting a response to this.
And I believe I have to go back like in a few weeks and I'm like, Don't make me do this. I don't want to do it.
Cara Lunsford
So what was the last result of your scans?
Aerin Glaser
I had? I just had a scan last week, but of course I was sick like two weeks earlier and they had just done this biopsy. Why are we doing this? I was just sick. So my lungs will be inflamed because I'm asthma and the last scans weren't great. So we know something's wrong and we just got the results from the biopsy and we're already switching my chemo.
So why do we really need these scans if they're just going to be messy and complicated? And. Turns out I was right. We got the scans back and they were very complicated to read and really confusing. So I was like, Why did I need to drink this nasty contrast for nothing? Basically, they're just all inconclusive. And it's frustrating because.
Cara Lunsford
What did your biopsy say?
Aerin Glaser
So they did a endotracheal biopsy of my mediastinum and the scans. Before my biopsy, there were three lymph nodes that were a bit more active than they should be. And I've already had this area radiated twice. So right. Radiation's off the table for right now. And we met with some people who are doing proton radiation. They won't do radiation until I'm a year out from my past radiation.
And they were like, you're basically we'll do it, but we won't touch it until it's been a year. So that might happen later this year. So the biopsy of my lymph nodes were positive for cancer, so I was on three or four different chemo. Chemo's all maintenance. That's why my hair is here and not.
Cara Lunsford
And looking lovely, by the way.
Aerin Glaser
Thank you. So I was on three or four different maintenance drugs that were working and I have been on before, so we're a little confused on what's happening. So I just switched and I'm on immunotherapy now and some chemotherapy.
Cara Lunsford
Which immunotherapy are you taking?
Aerin Glaser
I'm taking KEYTRUDA.
Cara Lunsford
Familiar?
Aerin Glaser
Yeah. Yeah. And I was so confused because I was meeting. So I go to the infusion center and were all ready for me to get KEYTRUDA and I was like, there's no premiums I used to get. So many. Do you not premed for immunotherapy? And they were like, No. And so I get my immunotherapy and I'm sitting there and I feel fine, I feel normal.
And then I'm like, this is really strange. Then I wake up the next day and I'm completely fine, no side effects whatsoever. I was like scratching my head like, what is this madness?
Like, what is this.
Cara Lunsford
Little magic bullet.
Aerin Glaser
I'm getting? Like, right, Why wasn't I honest sooner? That's great. Sign me off.
Cara Lunsford
I know. I'm going to have to make a disclaimer that we're not sponsored by KEYTRUDA. Like they're going to be like, Oh my God, KEYTRUDA must have sponsored this podcast. I know you're just a genuine fan, not sponsored.
Aerin Glaser
Yeah, I was talking with one of my friends who has also been on immunotherapy before, not on KEYTRUDA, but on a different one. And she was like, Yeah, like immunotherapy is great. She was like, besides the fact that it completely messed up my liver enzymes and I had to go off of it. It was great. It was great.
There's no side effects whatsoever. And we were both laughing at the fact that if there is a rare side effect, we will get it.
Cara Lunsford
That probably is true for you because I would say that that is probably a true statement. So you're now on KEYTRUDA do not want to continue your vaccine trial, which we know you don't want to continue.
Aerin Glaser
I mean, I will do it, but I will kick and scream the entire time.
Cara Lunsford
That's fair. I mean, here's the thing. Who knows what a year will bring or two years will bring or where you will be? Who knows, Right? What we're always trying to do is buy time, right? We're trying to buy time for the next thing, for something to come out like KEYTRUDA, you know, where you're like, I'm glad I just bought enough time to get to maybe something that is going to have an effect or is going to work, but that also maintains some sort of quality of life for you.
So have you thought I know in that moment you were kind of like, I don't want to do this. And this is like the tough question I'm going to ask you. Obviously, we know what the consequences are of not doing anything right, the consequences of not doing anything. When you have active disease in some way is that most likely, unless there's some strange occurrence that happens that can then spread.
Do you think about that? I'm sure you do think about that.
Aerin Glaser
I feel like for me, because I'm wired like my mother, I'm not overly emotional and I'm not hysterical and I'm not depressed. I live somewhere in the middle. I feel like for me, at a certain point after you hear that your cancer has progressed so many times, you kind of just get used to, okay, what's next? You get used to, okay, let's move forward.
Because for me, it doesn't help to dread the fact that I failed through something. And it's not really a failure either. It's not my fault. It's like, okay, something really bad happened. Am I allowed to curse on you?
Cara Lunsford
Yeah. Say whatever you want.
Aerin Glaser
Okay. Something really shitty just happened. How can I make the best out of the situation and move forward and get on with my life? Because I don't like dreading on the fact that something bad happened and I don't need to feel like yes, I will feel sad about it and I might cry over it, but I'm not going to dwell on the fact that this happened.
I'm going to keep living my life and move forward because it doesn't serve me to do that. Yeah, I don't need to make myself feel sad over something. I can't control while sad, I'm going to move forward and find the next best option for me.
Cara Lunsford
Right. You've been pretty spectacular at being in the moment, like living in the moment. And I think like most people will say that they feel, I would say content that they feel the most well and content when they have figured out how to live in the moment because we think about the future or too much about the future, we have anxiety, we think about the past.
There's too much depression, there's, you know, so it's a living right now is sometimes the best thing you can do. And I think when you are faced with some of the things that you've been faced with, it has forced you to live in the present.
Aerin Glaser
Yeah. And like, yes, I will think about the future, but I won't think about I don't think about like, what if my cancer progresses and I can't do this? I don't about that. Like I'm planning on doing all of the things I want to do. I plan for the future, but I'm planning on my success and I planning on what?
If I need to take a leave of absence from college? Like, no, I'm going to plan appropriately for how I'm doing at the moment. I'm planning on going to Paris this summer and work at Dior in the back house. Like, I'm going, I'm going to go.
Cara Lunsford
Are you planning to take your previous nurse with you.
Aerin Glaser
If she wants.
It?
Cara Lunsford
I mean, I wouldn't say no, but I sense since I didn't bring you on the podcast sooner, I'm probably not invited. I get it.
Aerin Glaser
I'm not I'm not going for very long, but I'm spending two weeks in Paris and I'm interning at Dior and I'm going to learn how to sew all these incredible things that they want me to work on. And I'm planning to go on to go to college in the fall, and I'm planning on moving on with my life and moving forward and not planning on the worst case scenario.
Cara Lunsford
You know, make me cry. See, you're not a crier, but I am a crier. My dad. I am. I'm like your dad. But, you know, not out of sadness. Out of happiness. I'm just so grateful. I'm so grateful that you have come through four years back and I'm grateful that you have this mentality that you are planning for your future and that you can see yourself doing all of these things because I can absolutely see you doing all of those things.
It hasn't been easy. And watching your graduation speech from high school and everything, it's just been just such an honor and a privilege to be a witness to your life.
Aerin Glaser
I mean, you played such a huge part in my life, too. Like, I don't know where I would be if you hadn't been my nightshift nurse and you hadn't been there to help me get through all of that.
Cara Lunsford
Well, you certainly wouldn't have learned how to swallow your pills with raspberries.
Aerin Glaser
So true. The Earth's natural killer pocket.
Cara Lunsford
Earth's natural pill pocket. That's right. And if anyone takes anything from this.
Aerin Glaser
They will learn how to take pills.
Cara Lunsford
Yeah, use use raspberries as your pill pocket. Well.
Aerin Glaser
By the way, it doesn't make any logical sense because it is so much bigger than any pill that you could ever take.
Cara Lunsford
Absolutely. I mean, either you were just really gullible and I was able to just pull the wool right over your eyes.
Aerin Glaser
I don't know.
Cara Lunsford
But. But you. But you swallowed it.
Aerin Glaser
I did it eventually.
Cara Lunsford
Yes, you did. Yes, you did. And then you got to the point where you were swallowing like, handfuls of pills. Yeah. So, like. Like a champ.
Aerin Glaser
Can't do that to you.
Cara Lunsford
Cancer will do that to you. Learn how to swallow a handful of pills.
Aerin Glaser
Yeah.
Cara Lunsford
Well, you've been through this much of your journey, and we don't know what tomorrow brings or what next year brings in terms of where you are in that process. But I have no doubt that you are just going to get wiser as the years go by and you're going to get even better at handling everything thrown at you and all the other tough stuff in life that people go through.
It's going to pale in comparison to what you've already done. So you'll see it's going to be a drop in the bucket when it's going to be so easy. And so I can't wait to see you in person again. I love you, love you, love you.
Aerin Glaser
I love you.
Cara Lunsford
And I'll be sure to have you on again. I wish everyone could see her sweet smile. That's the sweet smile. I love you, peanut. I love you, Barney.
Aerin Glaser
Love you.
Cara Lunsford
By. If you were a nurse who enjoyed this episode and you have an.
Idea for future episodes, you can connect with me by downloading the nurse dot com app.
Nurse dot is a nurse dot com original podcast series Production music and sound Editing by Dawn Lunsford, Production Coordination by Rhea Wade.
Additional editing by John Wells.
Thank you to all the listeners for.
Tuning in to the Nurse Dot podcast. Until next time.
Keep spreading the love and the care.
